We have all gone through this situation: You start dating a guy who seems to be the perfect Prince Charming. He has a great personality, and it seems as if you have good chemistry. You constantly text each other, but every time your phone rings, you cannot help but smile. But one day, he just disappears. There are no text messages; nothing! He has completely ghosted you and suddenly turns up again. If this sounds familiar, don’t panic! Read this article, so you know what you should do.
5. Make him suffer for a while.
Believe or not, this is a normal situation that all girls face. After a couple of dates, this guy and you almost look like a couple. If you have a craving on Wednesday afternoon, you just text him to see what he is up to and arrange a quick gathering.
If he, on the other side, wants to treat himself to something nice, you are the first person he texts. But out of the blue, all that has changed, and he just gives you a silly excuse of being snowed under at work, or that he just needed some time with his buddies.
No matter what the “reason” is, you have to show that you are a valuable person, and because of what he did, he doesn’t deserve your attention anymore, or well, at least for some time. If you didn’t hear of him in a while, you cannot rush to answer his text message as soon as it pops up.
Why? There are several reasons that could be brought to the table. Firstly, rush and impulsive messages are not recommended, since you can be too harsh or too soft on him. It is like comparing these texts to fast food, when you know it is always better to serve a well-marinated piece of meat.
Take your time to think of an appropriate answer that will make him want more of it. Secondly, it is up to you to establish the tone of the relation by appreciating yourself as a person that deserves time and dedication and by establishing the limits of the interaction.
This is crucial despite the fact that you might be just dating. If you get to a further stage in the relationship, the foundation that you laid earlier will continue to be standing as you both move on in the relationship. Thus, the future of interactions is on your hands. Show him how you want to be treated!
But you might be thinking: how long should I wait; hours, days, weeks? Experts say that 2-3 hours is more than enough. It exhibits that you do have a busy life, and that you don’t respond at his first call. Nevertheless, it is not too much time if you still want him to know that you are interested in continuing with what you have.
4. Take it easy.
As we subtly mentioned in the previous point, answering a message when you are upset is not wise at all. Yes, we understand that you may be completely hurt after waiting for so long, but still this is not a reason to send hot-tempered or aggressive messages.
Apart from that, it can cause a counterproductive effect. At the end, you want to make up with him, and if he has the need to get a fire extinguisher to put out the fire in your messages, that will surely extinguish his communicating desire with you as well.
Try to be as cool as a cucumber, but be faithful to yourself. Additionally, it is a good idea to use indirect questions, instead of just presuming what he was doing. Have some relaxing activities under your sleeve just in case you find yourself with the need of unleashing.
A walk at the park, your favorite training session at the gym or just to play your preferred playlist in your phone can provide the ideal opportunity to let off some steam.
3. Own who you are.
So if you are going to text him back, do not say things that put in evidence your lack of confidence or anything that can make you look too needy. Examples of these things are “why didn’t you text me during the weekend?”, “were you going out with someone else?” or “you were making me suffer! I missed you!”.
No! First of all, you have to remember that you have got a life, girl! Your activities do not and should not revolve around a guy. To have a good experience when dating, you must have self-care and be happy with yourself. These are the elements that will keep the flame burning.
Instead, try messages like “my weekend was great!, and yours?”. The first tip is to attempt to write a message with the same length as his: not too short and not too long, so it should be around ten precise and nice words.
He doesn’t need to know all the details of your weekend if he was not willing to keep you informed about his. Unless he demands to know more, it is better to take advantage of the mystery to make him feel intrigued and with a burning desire to know and have more.
The second tip is to be as optimistic and positive as possible. It does not matter if you feel like dying inside; always show that the fact that he didn’t text you in a while did not affect your current plans or activities at all. He has to see that you are perfectly fine without him.
2. No payback.
Don’t try to take revenge in your hands by waiting a couple of days to text him back. Similarly, to give a response with phrases like “okay” only is by no means beneficial, since it could be interpreted as being passive-aggressive, and it could be perceived as a sign of not wanting to boost interaction again.
The same principal that we mentioned before also applies in this aspect. Your main objective is to reconnect on a positive note to recreate a good vibe between you guys. Just remember that your selection of words can impact significantly what comes next.
So let’s say that this guy showed up again, and everything is cool now. Thus, you feel tempted to suggest to him a plan or an activity right away. Terrible mistake! Guys need some time before taking the step of making plans with a girl again. Putting pressure on him can just cause rejection from his side. So keep calm and carry on; the moment will come!
Nobody can say that dating is easy. You need to dedicate time and effort to know a guy that could be your better half or a complete waste of time. If you really feel that a guy is worthy after ghosting you, then go ahead. If not, take his absence as an opportunity of the destiny to come clean and turn the page in your love life.